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From the Publisher's Desk – First, a word from our sponsor (Feb. 18, 2015 issue)

“The music goes zoom zoom. The drummer goes boom boom and everybody shouts ‘Hooray for Valleydale. Hooray for Valleydale. Hooray for Valleydale. Hooray for Valleydale. All hale it’s Valledale.’”
I recently got that tune stuck in my head. Some readers of this column may remember the black and white commercial as three little pigs, marching in a band and playing instruments, joyfully sang about the Valleydale products. I questioned then, and I still do today, why those pigs were so happy. After all Valleydale was going to cut them up and sell their body parts in the grocery store.
I must say that many commercials never make much sense to me. We just finished with the 2015 Superbowl game and the highest priced commercials of the year. According to The Wall Street Journal, a basic, 30-second ad for Super Bowl XLIX cost a whopping $4.5 million. An ad in the first Super Bowl in 1967 was $40,000. For any company looking to advertise, The Erwin Record is pocket change compared to that.
I don’t know that any of the latest TV commercials stick out in my mind. I spend the majority of newer commercials wondering what they are advertising. It is usually revealed at the very end. I suppose commercials are like a mini movie to capture our attention.
I shamefully admit most commercials that capture my attention are for food. If I haven’t already left my cozy chair during the commercial to go to the refrigerator, I am for sure going after seeing the delicious food commercials.
Some of the most disturbing are the ones with creatures that have mind controlling abilities. Have you seen the one for the lady who has trouble controlling her bladder? Some creature is constantly tugging at her hand and taking advantage of every bathroom along the way.
One of the “sickest” commercials is the mucus creature that tries to follow the coughing soul everywhere. The creature was happy that it was going to disrupt a movie when the individual informed it that they had taken the advertised medication. The mucus creature yells out the ending and spoils the movie.
I love the jealous wife who thinks her husband is having an affair with someone on the telephone. It turns out it is Jake from State Farm. “Well she sounds hideous,” the wife tells him after talking to Jake herself.
Local commercials have their own flare. It is usually easy to pick out the differences. There are several for a particular hearing aid group in the Tri-Cities. Let’s just say they seem sincere but their delivery seems scripted.
One commercial for the group shows a father saying how well life is now that he can hear his son talking. The son is sitting beside of him. Behind both of them is their pet dog on the sofa. I can’t concentrate on what the man is saying for the distraction of the dog as it circles around and around digging at its fleas.
Of course we all can’t help but watch the area car dealership commercials as they scream for our attention. The announcers are usually talking in fast speed or extremely loud and excited. I must admit I already have a slight fear of stepping onto a car lot, but if someone approached me with that enthusiasm I would run.
Also, is anyone out there shocked that Johnson City Honda is in Johnson City? We all know Erwin Motors is in Erwin.
As someone who grew up with “The Andy Griffith Show,” I am somewhat saddened to see someone imitating Barney Fife and promoting fiberglass bathrooms. Somehow I don’t see him bothering Sarah to place that phone call as an emergency.
Please don’t judge me, but the commercial about the little lady that is in the floor and calling for help makes me roll my eyes. She is so unbelievable when she calls out “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”
One of my favorite commercials was watching the bugs having a party until RAID filled the room. I confess it is a bit brutal even for a bug.
Most commercials of today don’t stick with me like those in the past. Maybe I have too much on my mind to concentrate on them nowadays.
I still recall Madge giving a manicure in Palmolive dishwashing detergent. At today’s mani and pedi prices, I can’t imagine customers would be content with that.
Mr. Wiffle always warned “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.” However, he was unable to resist the temptation himself. I found myself going down the grocery store aisle doing the same.
I always felt bad for the lonely Maytag repairman who patiently waited for a service call. Somehow I think he would be overwhelmed with today’s technology and not know where to begin.
That overwhelming technology is also apparent with today’s automobiles. I never knew much about servicing a car beyond adding wiper fluid in the plastic container specifically labeled as such. Most of the engines today are completely hidden with covers and require nearly pulling the whole thing to reach a small part underneath.
When asked to raise the hood, I have to hunt for the handle in the car. Heaven help if I have to find the car jack and parts to it. They are hidden everywhere from the hood to the trunk and never fit back in the same manner.
There is one thing for sure. If I try to view other channels to avoid commercials on the current one, it seems every channel has gone to commercial break at the same time.